La Fille de Loup
by theMotherQuirk
Summary: For the first time in her existence, she wished she had made the wrong choice. Bella is a vampire. And now nothing will ever be the same. Ultimately BellaxEdward. Read and review, puhlease!
1. Chapter 1

**La Fille de Loup**

_The Wolf Girl _

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When I first opened my eyes after the transformation, everything struck me in a brilliant sort of clarity. The light gliding through the windows was intense; it almost blinded me. The stark white walls of the room were absolute ivory, and loomed above and on top of me, as if the color itself was so pure, a mere house could not contain it.

I was also extremely and unusually self-aware. I could feel the strength and raw power pulsing through my icy veins, taking the place of the blood that had once occupied them _(still_ occupied them, I reminded myself, for at least another year) . I could literally hear my lungs move as I took each unnecessary breath; the sound was a tad bit disturbing and would take some getting used to, I knew.

The air was also different. It tasted (yes, _tasted_) plain and bland, almost foul. The flavor of pollution was nauseating; if not for the crisp, clean scent of air from a previous century buried underneath the layers of hazardous waste, it would have been absolutely intolerable. I wished I could make myself stop breathing, as I knew was possible, but I couldn't quite figure out how.

And then, in spite of all my stunned bewilderment over these wonders and anomalies, I realized, with an instinctive precognition, that I was not alone. I glanced to the side to find Edward grinning softly in my direction, obviously unsure of how to approach me. I paused for a moment, expecting the familiar fluttering of my heart to shake my chest, but oddly nothing happened. It worried me for a split-second before I remembered that my heart no longer beat.

I attempted to rise shakily to my feet, and he rushed to my side in a motion impossibly swift, one that I would not have seen had I still been a human. It unsettled me a tad bit that I could plainly see all of his movements. He was no longer a blur to me. We were on exactly the same level.

"Be still, love," he cooed, touching my cheeks as lightly as before the transformation (or perhaps it was ten times as rough and I just ten times as durable…)

"Edward," I whispered, the corners of my lips upturning slightly, "Edward, I can see everything. Everything is so beautiful!"

He chuckled, and threw an arm about my shoulders, squeezing me tight against his body. It…it was…Like Jacob's (I shivered at his name) body had been, minus the insane heat. Strong, and steady, but with skin soft…and normal. Edward's rock hard body (I giggled at the pun) was forever gone to me. I wasn't quite sure how I felt about that. I mean, how often could one snuggle with a dazzling statue?

He led me down the flights of stairs, and I marveled through the window at the snow, as I bore witness to every single crystal of delicate frozen water as it danced through the sky and spun with the wind. Alaska had never seemed so beautiful to me before. I figured it was because I couldn't feel the bitter cold any longer.

The house was empty, and each step we took was hollow and obscenely loud. Even though I knew my every movement was as silent as a ghost, and even though I knew I just wasn't used to my oversensitive hearing, I was unnerved. The differences were huge, of course, but I still _sounded_ like a human.

Edward turned me towards him and his eyes scorched, ocher in all of their aesthetic beauty. His pale skin glimmered in the dim lamp light, his hair tousled from when he must've run his hands through it in anxiety. Moving slowly, he tilted his head and pressed his perfect lips upon mine, moving them softly and at the same time with a sort of desperate fervor. His hands trailed down my arms until they came to a halt at my waist, at which point his pulled me against him. I could feel every crevice of my own molded into his, as one. His lips moved more quickly now, the desperation growing. "Do you want me, Bella?" he growled, somehow finding a way to force our bodies even closer together. "Will you always want me?" his voice pleaded in a way I had never heard before.

"More than anything in my entire existence," I promised.

But then it slammed into me like a freight train. Knocked me senseless. Ravaged me and ruined me and tore apart at my very being, unlike any desire I had ever known. It grinded in my belly and set fire to my throat, and I _wanted_ it. I wanted it so badly. I was hot and bothered and starving and _thirsty_. A grating screech resounded from somewhere deep inside of me, and I lunged blindly towards the source of the smell. Edward attempted to restrain me, but his strength was no match for mine.

With wild abandon and a sweet scent all but rendering me sightless, I clawed my way outside and into the biting snow I could no longer feel.


	2. Chapter 2

**La Fille de Loup**

_The Wolf Girl  
_

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**Two **

Alaska and Forks were not so much different in the fact that water relentlessly fell from angry, gray clouds. It just so happened that one version of the precipitation was vastly colder than the other. Of course, as a vampire it was no real problem for me. The biting wind and chilling ice had no chance against my granite skin. It was, however, making it difficult to see.

My vision was significantly impaired in the blizzard. I streaked through the endless white, searching franticly for the source of that heavenly aroma. Somewhere in the very, very back of my mind I was aware it was blood. In the very, very back of my mind I screamed at myself to stop, that it might be a mother who accidentally cut herself while chopping onions, or a child's paper cut. The very, very back of my mind was crying out in hopeless desolation.

The very, very _front_ of my mind growled at it to shut its metaphorical mouth.

"Bella!" Edward called, distant and overpowered by the raging winter storm. By habit, I paused mid-step and turned to him. But then the wind shifted again, and I was off. That smell, that smell, _that smell. _God, how badly I needed to taste it.

"Bella!" Edward's voice floated to me over the climate once more. "Bella, please! Stop!"

I wouldn't. I couldn't. The tantalizing odor was so close now. It led me through thick woods, and across a frozen lake. The ice did not crack once underneath my weight; I moved so incredibly fast that my feet barely skimmed the ground. I was flying, gliding, my need growing more consuming with each breath I gasped.

And there I was, upon it. The smell permeated all of my mind and body. It originated from the center of a snow encrusted meadow just off the edge of the woods. The blazing thirst propelled me forward.

My brain slipped over the edge, mouth salivating to the point where drool was running down my chin. Indistinctly, footsteps from behind informed me that my love had caught up…at that point, however, I couldn't have cared any less. My throat ached with a pain, no, an _anguish_, that can only be described as tremble-inducing. The one and only thing insurmountably worse was my transformation, but other than that, nothing could compete with this burning. I heard Edward's sigh of relief when he saw that it was not a human that I had happened to catch a whiff of.

I rushed the creature, a strangled mix of triumph and release escaping my lips. The snow whipped against it, obscuring it slightly, though I didn't bother to dust it off, or even give it the courtesy of knowing what it was. I merely leaned over it and tore my teeth inside.

My first taste of blood was pure ecstasy. The crimson liquid was silky and warm, cascading down my chin in rivers as I greedily lapped it all up, and while it did not sate my thirst entirely, it squelched the fire until it was little more than an ash. But still I craved more. Edward only quietly watched on; I knew not what his emotions were.

In one of my brief pauses, I caught a glimpse of what the animal actually was. And in that brief pause, I gasped and flung the creature down onto the snow in horror and self-disgust. Its body was mangled and its fur was matted with blood, the head of the poor creature twisted entirely around.

But it was obviously a wolf.

I would never forgive myself.

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/AN: I apologize for the short chapters. I'll attempt to bring you longer ones in the future...as long as you review! lol :D/


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